1. Alan tells me about his son and his son's new under-
wear with superheroes on it. One morning he comes running
into the bedroom, grabs the front of his pants and annouces
proudly, "Ive got Superman in my pants, Daddy. What have
you got in yours?" Before checking, I turned to my wife,
"Well, how should I answer him?" She was too busy laughing.
2. A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
zoned when he ran," according to his wife,
accidentally jogged off of a 200-foot-high cliff on his
3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, N. J.,
in September, and his wife Bonnie was also injured, by a
quarter-stick of dynamite that blew up in their car. While
driving around at 2a.m., the bored couple lit the dynamite
and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen,
but they apparently failed to notice that the window was closed.
4. As an art teacher for an elementary school here in Jacksonville, Florida, one of my recent assignments for the children was to enter a contest that our new national football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, was promoting.
The winning artwork gets placed on the back of the season tickets, so I encouraged the children to come up with a good logo and a colorful creation.
One innocent little girl was so enthused about her masterpiece she turned in to me. It had a picture of a mean looking jaguar that read, "You're messin' with the wrong pussy."